Saturday, January 23, 2010
you're not the only one, i am too.
the difference being - i care.
sometimes it's like being on this huge emotional roller coaster. one second you're doing something, the next the pain hits and before you realize it you're doubled up in pain and crying so hard you can barely breathe.
and then you go into this shut down mode where you don't feel anything anymore, just this deep blank abyess of nothingness. and you savour every moment of that, of that absolute lack of any emotion whatsoever. because that's the reason you're still sane, the reason you haven't broken down completely.
and so you go about, enjoying the fact that you're in control, consciously forcing yourself not to think, when you get careless and a stray thought, a stray emotion enters and the whole cycle repeats.
i will finish packing tonight.
the disappointment is making me confused.
-6:55 PM
i will be still know you are God*
Friday, January 22, 2010
liar liar pants on fire.
-7:31 AM
i will be still know you are God*
sometimes i get so frustrated i feel like screaming into my pillow. or out into the open sea. supposedly it's therapeutic, but somehow i'm hardly ever at the sea or with my pillow when i'm angry. and on those rare occasions that i am, it seems weird somehow. like i'd be defiling something sacred, something along those lines anyway.
so instead, i blog. either that or i watch tv, anything to distract me.
life is such a bloody irony.
sometimes when i'm already annoyed, it annoys me even more when it feels like i'm not being heard or understood. but what really annoys me the most when it comes across like i shouldn't be annoyed in the first place. it's my perogative, thank you very much. it's what i'm feeling so please don't tell me i'm wrong.
somtimes i wish i had a switch, where i could just tune out of my life and my feelings. or maybe i should be like one of those boys who just want to pretend that everything's okay and go on with life. what those boys don't realize is that acting like you don't care makes the other person believe that you really don't. especially when the other person's already annoyed.
i'd tell you why i'm angry, but what's the point? if you respond by telling me why i shouldn't be angry, that wouldn't make me any less angry at all. but listening, understanding and then placating, that's something they don't teach in school. why don't people wait until there's less anger before presenting their side of the story?
so today was my last day of work. i need to start packing, but procrastination's my middle name.
-2:57 AM
i will be still know you are God*
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
parting is sorrowful and sorrowfilledsometimes i amaze myself with my eloquence haha ok whatever yo.
my internet is wonky and randomly disconnects which is slightly annoying, but maybe it's a sign that i should go to sleep.
i'm leaving soon, but packing is not going well. more accurately, it's not going anywhere. i absolutely hate packing.
i'm hungry and i want tomyum. and curly fries. which is a weird combination.
-3:10 AM
i will be still know you are God*
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I'm eating rabbit food which consists of like nuts and raisins and what else and what not. i like raisins, they're really yummy.
yesterday i finally had my black pepper crab at blk 232 ang mo kio avenue 3 with clare and max and ollie. haha i'm happy now. and we also had the crab bee hoon thing which was (y) yay. haha good food + good company = good time.
ooh and i'm going hyatt later for italian! i hope it's good. had thai on friday night at amara hotel the dessert buffet was to die for. and the tom yum soup was good although horrendously overpriced!
ok this sounds like a food blog. i think i'm becoming more and more obsessed with food lately.
but on a side note, i <3 the ba ku teh at clarke quay!
the man's flying off tmr night . boo.
-4:34 PM
i will be still know you are God*
Sunday, January 03, 2010
it's been forever since i was here haha omg it feels so weird, i think i've forgotten how to blog.
so the reason i'm here is cos i was talking to clare over lunch at sushi tei that day, and she was telling me about how she was blog hopping and stuff! and i felt a sense of nostalgia so i said i would attempt to revive my blog and go back to being all deep and profound and mystical (i.e. emo and angsty) :) haha but i have a feeling it's going to be an epic fail! but never mind, since i am going to
netherlands this will be a good way to record my exciting and never ending adventures!
well that's if i actually keep this up anyway haha.
i'm craving seafood, specifically stingray and black pepper crab. Anyone up for it? :)
-10:47 PM
i will be still know you are God*
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if youve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
-3:07 PM
i will be still know you are God*
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
merry christmas! merry christmas merry christmas i love christmas(:
my blog's been dead for the past two months, so here i am to revive it! since then so much has happened! my first sem at smu is finally over, and i can't imagine going through another one in two weeks time. the holidays have been wonderful although i feel so unhealthy with my completely screwed up eating and sleeping habits gosh. plus yogi and angie are finally back so whoopee!
the girls are coming over tonight and for the first time in a long time, everyone's going to be around! and in typical style, we decided that
no presents allowed haha not even a gift exchange. although i did hear of a good idea of what to get if you ever need a five dollar gift exchange haha(:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
-2:51 PM
i will be still know you are God*
